hissssssssssss

I know it has been quite a while since I posted anything. My family is very controlling, and they are determined that I never come inside. Sometimes I wonder why I live with them and not the neighbors... but then I go over to the neighbors house and I remember.

Annabelle and Penelope have been insufferable. Especially now that Penelope is going to have babies. Which I am thrilled for. Not. Why would I want a bunch of tiny cats exactly like Penelope crawling all over the place? So not cool.

And you just know they are going to steal my bed, just like the other cats did. And I'm sorry, but is it so wrong for a cat to want his own bed? I would have to say no. And if you have an argument, I would like to hear it.

You know, I am all about rolling in the dirt. Sometimes, the day is so warm that all I want to do is roll around in the dirt. And sometimes it is very cold outside and I feel like rolling in my bed.

So this is just a post about how much I need my own bed. Family, if you read this, please do something about it.

me-ow.

Last night was worrisome. I spent most of it hopping from rock to rock in an effort to not touch the snow. My efforts were fruitless, however, because I slipped. Enter a face full of snow and an aching nose. I spent most of the evening trying to win my way back inside by meowing as loudly as possible at the front window. My family gave me consoling looks, but I wasn't able to get in until the oldest girl left.

Once inside I was faced with the choice of which direction to walk in. I could either go left and down the stairs to a comfortable bed and this computer, or I could go right and head into the garage to sleep on my own. Obviously I chose the right or I wouldn't be writing about this.

I was plagued with the little cats climbing all over me, until finally I meowed in their ears loud enough that they relocated. But at night I had a dream. I dreamt that Bartholomew had come back. He was disappointed with the way the mission is going. He swiped at my head and I woke up. He was always a little intense.

Now I really have to get to work. I can't have another dream like that.

rawrrrrrr scratch

Once again it has been a while since I have gained access to the computer. This is not because of my family forcing me outside. It is because I have finally squeezed my way into the nicest human's room. She is never at home for some reason I haven't been able to figure out. Her bed is the most comfortable, and since she is gone no one notices I am there.

She came home last night and we shared a few hours together. When it got dark outside she picked me up and put me back in the garage with the others. This was not her fault. It was the mother's idea. Penelope and Annabelle were less annoying last night. They gave me the cold shoulder for the most part. I don't really care. They are both fat.

The plan is not going well. Bartholomew's last words to me still ring in my ears... I haven't been able to get through, and it has been a year since his death. I still shudder when I think of how it happened. If it hadn't been for... well, I can't say it here, but let's just say he would still be alive if certain things hadn't happened.

And now I have to make it right.

meow

It has been a while since I've written.

My family has been keeping me outside for the most part. It's really hard to gain access to the computer.

As soon as Dad let me inside again, I came right here.

This holiday season has been terrible. There is snow everywhere, so none of us cats want to be outside. We are confined to the garage. It makes me very irritable.

The two younger cats think we should all sleep in the same bed. I moved the heating pad to my side, to persuade them to find somewhere else. They weren't convinced. I'm always too tired to argue with them about it.

Annabelle has gained lots of weight. It's pretty embarrassing for a good-looking cat like her. She gets worried that the family is going to kick her out because of it. The other family did that.

My mission is still underway. Stay tuned for updates.

The family is home. I have to go.

Growl.

Today I was extremely annoyed with my treatment.

When I tried to come inside to take yet another nap, my family forced me back into the garage.

I hate the garage. I have to share with Annabelle and Penelope, and they are always messing around with an old shoe. I'm far too mature for that.

I then ended up outside while the family left in the roaring monster.

Spent a lot of time thinking beside the rose bush. Tried to eat snow. It was cold.

Finally the family came back. They ignored me again. They'll be sorry.

I'm not a cat to be messed with.

meow. rawr. hiss.

Don't look so surprised. Why shouldn't I blog? I sit inside this house all day, staring at the wall and updating my facebook page. I might as well jump on the blog bandwagon.

What? You think someone else is typing this just because I don't have thumbs? I'm not as dumb as you all think.

Yes you. I hear you. Talking about me behind my back. Saying how sad it is that I'm so stupid when Annabelle and Penelope are perfect examples of amazing cats.

Maybe I've been pretending?

You may recall that there was another cat in this house. Bartholomew. I was there on the day he met his fate.

I heard his last words.

And now, I have a mission.